Ever thought about Unlearning?
When I thought of transforming my life from feeling disgusting to being realistic and having emotional control, I found that learning is not so important but unlearning is the most important part of any life transformation.
Learning is easy, you can learn any skill in 20 days or a month. I was reading this research which says if you want to be good at something, it only takes 20 hours.
When we make unrealistic learning goals only then we learn nothing. Everyone wants to learn more, earn more, everyone wants to look smart and intelligent but ego learning keeps them where they were 5-10 years ago.
We are learning 24 /7, don’t go with my words. Look around what were you doing 15 minutes ago, an hour ago, yesterday? You will find that we are constantly learning. We are always accumulating Impressions in our minds. These impressions then rise up in our thoughts, become words, and emotions and then shape our behaviours.
Let me ask you this, how can you unlearn a skill? Think about it! This is Impossible, how can you do this!
I am not talking about skills, I am talking about the things that you learned unknowingly and have a huge impact on your life, your every decision and you are unaware of it.
It’s like believing in something which you haven’t experienced. Your beliefs shape your mindset and your mindset shapes your actions. If you certainly believe in the vague Idea without any experience, what kind of learning is that. Literally, read that again!
I used to think that if people are successful they will be happy but it wasn’t the case. They may have learned a lot and earned a lot but still, they believed in some vague ideas which brought chaos to their lives.
Don’t keep learning, settle down, reflect on it. It’s time to Unlearn!
3 years ago, I used to believe in so many things without reason, like believing in certain political ideas, and religious ideas, following some people without knowing why, and believing in the success criteria of others, without ever experiencing it.
Believing in people’s idea of focus when our circumstances and upbringing are totally different.
//My vague idea of success that ruined my 10 years
I will tell you my story of something which I believed to be very important but actually turned out to be a disaster for me.
It is common sense to wake up early. But I don’t know how it had this huge impression on me that I started feeling if I don’t get up at 4 am, I can’t be successful. Even I used to be up by 5 or 6 am.
I was doing everything in my day till this belief of waking up at 4 am, made me think my day was a failure.
I was doing everything that I could do in my morning routine, meditation, exercise, eating good food and I was doing my work still I didn’t have a sense of fulfilment. I used to go to sleep feeling like a failure while in reality, I was making huge progress. When I started reflecting on these feelings, I knew something needed to change.
“Unlearning happens when you identify what you need to unlearn!”
How did I do it and how you can do it, my practical steps:
Step1: Make a list of all the things you never learned but you are in your behaviour. For example, religious views, politics, money matters, etc.
Try to answer these;
What do you think most of the day?
Do you like or hate someone even when you have never met them?
Do you get disturbed if you see something that is against your belief?
Can people change your behaviour, if yes then what is the trigger point?
You will see that these things may or may not have been in your true experience but these vague ideas have actually shaped your behaviour.
How can you hate someone you have never met? This picturization of making you hate someone is fone by other people and maybe you don’t know them either.
A single piece of advice: “Never hate anyone unnecessarily”.
Step2: Ask yourself WHYs. Why do you believe what you believe? If it is helping you then keep on going but reflect.
On the internet, it is common to believe that this person is good and bad on the basis of the things that you see in the news but in real life, you never had any experience with them.
I found these common things which have a huge impact on behaviour, decisions making but never experiences it;
- Having extreme end views(for example, If I don’t like, I hate it. Better is if you don’t like what is the point of hating)
- Judging on the basis of your vague ideas.
- Advise people on something which you have never experienced.
- Success definition.
- Hating unnecessarily.
If you just reflect on these 6 things, 80 to 90% of the unlearning has just started. Skills are not harming us, these things are.
Look for whys!!
I want you to go a bit deep. Watch yourself! Next time you watch a reel, video, or talk to someone, are you getting triggered? If you speak something, ask yourself why you think it is true, what is the real experience which makes you eligible to say these words?
It’s like giving health advice when you haven’t ever gone for a walk or Gym. When you find that this information was just inserted by the culture and society, you will start developing a new sense which will the defining moment of your life.
It’s time for you to rethink your life. Start unlearning and you will find that your life has become easier, more comfortable, and immense happier because from now you won’t believe everything you are told.
Find me at https://vishaldhiman.net
I am looking forward to your questions/suggestions/queries, DM’s are open too!